「友よ、なぜおまえは……？」 (Tomo yo, Naze Omae wa ......?)
"My Old Friend, Why ......?"

You should’ve gone for the head.

「 私よ、永と遠わに？」 (Watashi yo, Towa ni?)
"Be Forever, Me?"

Kumoko will work two jobs. First, she will work The View, then she'll take off her wig and do the weather.

「私、出番ないってか？」 (Watashi, Deban naitte ka?)
"So I'm Not in This One, Am I?"

There are Dynasty Warriors games with better graphics.

「私のせいじゃない、よね？」 (Watashi no Sei ja nai, yo ne?)
"This Isn't My Fault, Is It?"

“You think you can attempt to threaten my life (and fail miserably), and get away with it!?”

「ひらけ、同窓会」 (Hirake, Dousoukai?)
"I Guess, This Is a Class Reunion?"

One silver lining is that everyone who showed up to this reunion peaked in high school.

「みんな、腹黒くね？」 (Minna, Haraguroku ne?)
"You guys are kind of awful, huh?"

The only place where it wouldn’t be alarming for a giant spider to run an urgent care clinic.

「私、なにしてる？」 (Watashi, Nani Shiteru?)
"What am I doing?"

“I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.”

「フライング、ゲット？」 (Furaingu, Getto?)
"Am I Getting, Ahead Of Myself?"

Hot sand, cool waters, face-eating. This truly is like a Miami ocean resort.

「マザー、からの厄介蜘蛛人形？」 (Mazaa, Kara no Yakkai Kumo Ningyou?)
"Did Mother, Send These Annoying Puppet Spiders?"

A little goes a long way.